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One of the things I was so pleased about with Modpo was that I was able to break free of a three years’ long writer’s block.  I was thrilled to be writing again.

Two months later, I find that the block is not completely broken.  I can write, so long as I’m using aleatoric or uncreative methods like flarf- but I am not yet able to write completely in my own voice.  I cannot find the words, and when I do it is overdone and clumsy.  There’s a few examples of that here on this blog.  I find I have the same difficulty as when I try to do representational art- I end up trying too hard to get it “right,” and the work gets stulted and exaggerated, like the work of a young child trying too hard.

I’m grateful to be writing and creating, and I accept that for now (and maybe indefinitely) these are the methods I need to use to create- but at times it’s very frustrating not to be able to directly express what’s inside me.  For now, I trust the process.  I have no other choice.

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